March Madness Sale
Greetings Quilters!! Hope all is well with you and yours.
It is momentous day indeed!! Janet has actually has given tentative approval of my latest idea!! That is sort of scary in itself – makes me wonder just how much new stuff she has actually ordered that I do not know about?!!
AHH….. MARCH – St Patrick’s Day, green beer, leprechauns, strong winds, the assassination of Julius Caesar, spring, quilt shows, college basketball –YES BASKETBALL…..as in March Madness!
Now, I know many of you are saying, “Oh not another sports season! All my husband wants to do is watch the games on TV”.
We here at Thread Bear have heard you – and we feel your pain. “The Bear” has been working tirelessly long arduous hours to somehow integrate your true love – quilting - with something most men enjoy – sports.
In order to promote the family unit, foster unity, awareness, and mutual respect while working to attain a common goal, I would like to announce The Bear’s March Madness sale!
For those of you who may have been away on Mars for the last month, NCAA college basketball has been churning right along. Starting in mid March, (March 13th was "Selection Sunday") the supposedly best of the best (68 teams this year) play single elimination games until the men’s National Champion is crowned April 4, 2022 at Ceasar's Superdome in New Orleans. Being invited to participate has been likened to being asked to the prom. (So is this how high school girls think - "I am the second prettiest girl in school. Except for Gina, and this week she has a zit! So that makes me #1! I am going to prom. Just have to find the guy that will spend the most!")
The entire spectacle is known as “March Madness.” Just think of the dessert, "Death by Chocolate", where basketball is the chocolate.
“Fascinating,” you say “but what has this got to do with quilting?” Well, read on as this is really a “Randy Sale”.
For simplicity’s sake, I have selected the University of North Carolina Tarheels as our team (the choice was entirely random – has nothing to do with the fact I am a NC native and alumni of UNC – purely coincidental!!). I can teach you the words to the fight song, if you are interested. (Just don’t sing it around Janet – she went to that other school - North Carolina State University – BIG RIVALRY - UNC vs. NCSU). Of course, Janet wanted to know "Why UNC? Why not State?"
My reply, "Well, you want someone that's going to win!" (One of these day her eyes are going to get stuck like that!)
All humility aside, UNC has made the cut. Currently, we are rated 25th in national polls.
Sunday, UNC was named as an "At Large" team - and that gets you to the big dance! We are heading to the East Region. We are the 8th seed. We play a very talented 9th seeded Marquette team on Thursday 3/17/2022.
Let the quilting fun begin! UNC has been invited so you will get 10% for the invitation (and this discount will be good even if Carolina loses the first game). If UNC continues to win another 5% will be added to the discount! When Carolina loses, then the discount will "freeze" at that percent for the balance of March Madness.
So, it is a choice. " I can buy this now for 10% off or gamble on the next game and get it at 15% off". (Sort of like the old "Let's Make a Deal Show" Do you want whats behind curtain #1 or what's in the green box?)
Who knows? Maybe you will after scouring You Tube for the latest Quilting tips and techniques, you might just slide over to ESPN and check out the latest college basketball injury report.
Your husband, boyfriend, children will be amazed at how multifaceted you have become. You might hear “I never knew” or “I really enjoyed watching the game with you.”
You don’t have to tell them – you already knew you were amazing – it’s good they now have the correct point of view!!
Now I am pretty sure, Stacy Ist Hsu probably did not have this in mind when she designed her new collection, "The Sea and Me", but, hey - this is about winning. Contained within the collection there is a terrific panel which makes a doll. With a little work, a splash of imagination, and a few of scraps from your stash - whalaaa - a great sports Voodoo Doll.
Just think of how "cute" it would look in Duke, Baylor, Arizona, Gongaza, or Texas garb with several 2" glass head pins stuck in it! (Did I fail to mention? We have the doll panels in stock and we also just happen to sell the pins in packs of 70 - extra sharp of course!)
I have found from experience, on average most teams do not attempt more than 150 shots per game, but if you feel uneasy - just buy 3 packs of pins!
Oh, and I also forgot to mention, we have three - not one - but three drop dead gorgeous UNC prints in stock! Just a passing thought.
And if all of this is not enough food for thought, here is something for the philosophical minded - something to ponder - "If God is not a Tarheel, then why is the sky Carolina Blue?"
For our on-line customers the coupon code is Madness. The coupon code is currently good for 10% off, but if UNC wins the increased percentage will be effective the day after the win and will be updated as the team progresses through the bracket (the next day).
Here is a link for a printable bracket:
The odds of getting a perfect bracket are 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 (that's 9.2 quintillion). Your odds are better at winning Mega Millions!!! The NCAA has a titillating little article on how difficult it is to accomplish for all you math geeks - you know - the people that want to count all the pieces of angel hair pasta spilled on the floor when you dropped the open box before eating. Check it out at:
Now for quite some time Warren Buffet (one of the richest people in the world and a big basketball fan) has offered 1 million to anyone with a proven perfect bracket - but as far as I know, he has not said if he is offering the challenge for the 2022 March Madness yet.
Even if you miss out on a cool million - at least you are guaranteed 10% off. More if UNC wins - excuse me - when UNC wins!
For the guys -
Guys if you are planning on watching March Madness multiple games without strife read on:
Guys, its inevitable – just like taxes –if you live with a quilter or a fabricoholoic – you are going to be asked-“What do you think? Which looks better? What color goes best?” or some variation on one of these questions. You may not have solicited it, but here is some free advice.
1. Think before you engage your mouth. I know it’s hard, but wipe the cobwebs out of your brain and realize what you say affects your quality of life in the very near future. I can assure you, “I don’t care” is the wrong answer. “Whatever you think is fine” also just will not cut it. Even putting a platitude like “dear “at the beginning or end of the response is only going to get you the "don’t patronize me" glare.
2. Face it, the only way you are going to “see” (maybe I should say enjoy) the 2nd half is to focus for a bit and carefully craft your response. Now mind, you can’t just use your own words even though the large red paisley print looks like a drop of blood ejected from the vanquished knight’s eye surrounded by the black solid and wisps of gold and fingers of orange remind you of the terrible wrath and power of an evil fire breathing dragon. If you tell her this, then she is going to take away your cheese puffs and beer and the 2nd half will definitely not be as good as the 1st.
3. Learn the new language. Point out the colors present and include key words like “focus” , “definition”, “contrast”, “depth”, “perception”, and most definitely “pops”. Maybe even throw in a bit of symbolism – something like -
“Your color selection is terrific – overall it epitomizes the never ending struggle between good and evil. The blacks – the all consuming vastness of evil – the reds and oranges – the battle - the clash of ideas representing diametrically opposed forces in perpetual conflict – and the contrast of the gentle lighter colors – the opposite side of the spectrum – light, hope, - dare I utter it - peace. Did you have this in mind when you picked out the colors?”
4. Even though you are ignorant of the meanings and context of anything just said, trust me - she understands all of them. But before she gets too excited and proposes you assist her in designing the next quilt – remind her that you are just a shallow guy with something like “Gota go. Second half is starting” Now is the time for the platitude! As you are walking away toss out “Looks great, honey.”
Enjoy "The Madness" dude!
Janet + Randy
Note from Janet -
Yes I have to hear about UNC is better than NCSU all the time. Randy really tells bad agricultural jokes when he compares the schools. No matter what team you root for, I hope you enjoy the sale and March Madness. I hate to tell Randy that Carolina will not take the title - heck they were lucky to beat Duke at Coach K's last home game.
Note to Janet - Would you rather have the skill or luck? At this point in my life I'll take either. Luck or or skill - the result is still the same - a WIN!!!
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